My research career, beginning with the start of my doctoral studies in 2004, has been entirely on a part-time basis. I studied part-time whilst I worked full-time, and have since then had several secondments to part-time research whilst spending the rest of my working week occupying my regular professional role.
During my doctoral studies, I grew accustomed to the niggling question, “am I doing enough research?” (It was accompanied by, “am I doing this parenting lark adequately?!”)
I felt reasonably confident that my professional role wasn’t suffering – after all, when I was at that desk, I was working the work! But, in my student capacity, I had the memory of what full-time research “felt like”, from a previous doctoral attempt, and it was hard persuading myself that no-one expected me to achieve as much, as fast, when I was doing it entirely in evenings, at weekends and on holiday. (Reading early nineteenth-century commentaries whilst at Eurocamp? Oh yes, been there!)
Fast-forward to my present 70:30 existence (70% librarian, 30% postdoc). Desperate to be taken seriously as a researcher, I struggle to achieve as much as the average academic, when I’m only a researcher for 10.5 hours a week. Reading, writing, researching, editing, attending conferences … I drive myself to produce “output” at a rate that makes me look like a force to be reckoned with, but honesty forces me to concede that some of it has to be done at home, in my own time.
So, I reached this summer. Since May, I’ve been a guest-speaker at a workshop in Paris, contributed a pecha kucha at a copyright literacy seminar closely followed by a paper at a week-long international history conference (both in Edinburgh), been an after-dinner speaker at an engagement in the Highlands, and then – oh, blessed relief, came a fortnight’s vacation.
The first holiday week, I struggled with the guilt that I had a journal issue to edit, and ought to be doing the book-reviews I’d allocated myself. I managed not to do any of it! This was due to a combination of excessive domesticity, a self-imposed fitness regime, and end-of-term exhaustion. By the second week, I had family obligations that took me away from home, and I read no more than the introduction to the first book-review book. I’m driving home tomorrow. It does feel as though I’ve had a mental break, but the guilt is now pressing on my shoulders like a heavy cloud, and I’m perplexed as to how I’ll catch up with my scholarly obligations. It can’t be done in 10.5 hours a week, that’s for sure!
I’ve seen headlines in social media about how even full-time academics don’t get enough time in which to do research. I can understand this, but I can’t make comparisons. If an academic is not teaching, marking or administrating, then presumably some research can be done. For me, by contrast, if it’s not a research day/morning, then I have the rest of my 9-to-5 taken up with a completely different role, and NO research can be done. Likewise, I may have similar holiday allocation to my academic colleagues, but there’s a difference between that, and the length of the average undergraduate vacation. During that time there are no undergraduate lecture or tutorial commitments. I don’t have that difference at my disposal.
I’m sure I am not the only part-time researcher to feel this guilt. I don’t think there’s an answer, either. I’m moderately pleased with myself that I have deliberately, consciously taken a fortnight off, and only very occasionally opened my work email inbox to check that nothing crucial had popped into it. I deleted a few irrelevant messages, and closed the inbox again. My out-of-office message would have explained my silence, to anyone expecting to hear from me. I haven’t come up with a strategy for catching up with my editing and writing obligations. It may entail ignoring emails for a couple more days until I’ve reviewed those books!
I’d like to write a blogpost about the ISECS eighteenth-century history conference, but I fear it would be a bit of an indulgence, in the face of all that I personally absolutely have to do.
I wonder how other part-time researchers manage? Any tips or tricks to share?
Engaging with students in teaching bibliographic citation, and demonstrating the significance of paratext in historical national song collections.
Karen McAulay, Musicologist 